Happiness If-Onlys

Being happy is everybody’s goal, yet so few seem to get it. Can happiness studies 
help you find your way to happy?
That is happiness; to be dissolved into something completely great.   —Willa Cather

10 Statements that DO NOT Make You Happy

Smiley face buttons. Frowns in gray and smiley face button in yellow on top.

Are you happy? There are many scientific studies of happiness that help us to understand what it means and how we become happy. Yes, there are things that you can do to help yourself become happier. But the important thing to know is that the source of happiness is already there inside you. Like the song, “Money Can’t Buy You Love,” you can’t buy happiness. Don’t fall into the trap of the statements below.
10. If only I could win the lottery, I would be happy.
Studies of lottery winners find that after that first burst of excitement the additional money does not inspire happiness. The same emotional, relationship, and psychological discomforts are still there. In fact, sometimes problems become even more exaggerated. 
9. If only I could own my own home, I would be happy.
Families who live in apartments are just as likely to be happy as families who own their own homes. However, individuals and families who feel crowded when they live with or among others often feel more comfortable in places of their own. But isolation can lead to loneliness and other less than desirable feelings.
8. If only I could be thin, I would be happy.
Being thin usually means better physical health and that is a good goal in itself. In better health, we feel better. But if the goal to being thin is in having a more stylish look, the effect of happiness is likely to be only temporary and not sustainable.
7. If only I could find someone and get married, I would be happy.
It usually doesn’t work out when we look to someone else to make us happy. 
6. If only I could get a better job, I would be happy.
If you get a better job, you will have different circumstances. Maybe you will enjoy it more, but the job itself does not necessarily create happiness. The search for purpose and passion may be more essential to creating a state of happiness, however.
5. If only I could move to a different city, I would be happy.
Often, a big change in life makes us feel different, like starting over again fresh. A city or location is external and not key to happiness, which is an internal state. Helping in your community or doing volunteer work would likely create more happiness.
4. If only I could be famous, I would be happy.
Just look at all the rich and famous people in the tabloids and glossy magazines. They may be smiling, but I’m not sure you see a whole lot of happiness in their lives. 
3. If only I could be rich, I would be happy.
Having money is not a bad thing! Just don’t count on it as the answer to happiness. The gist of it is this:
  • People who are already happy and become rich are happy rich people.
  • People who are already unhappy become unhappy rich people.
2. If only I could change the way I look, I would be happy.
Happiness is inside you, not on the surface. Sometimes, being critical and judgment of yourself is a habit. And though you may change your hair, get a facelift or vary the way you look, that internal critic is still going to sit in judgment. However, doing things to build self-esteem is a good way to enhance your sense of well-being, and helps you find more happiness.
1. If only I were beautiful, I would be happy.
Much of beauty is by opinion. And in relationships, the attraction is much more than skin level, of course. However, here’s the contradiction:
  • People who feel beautiful inside but don’t look “beautiful,” can often exude a special something that others respond to as beauty.
  • People who have an external attractiveness often don’t feel good about themselves inside, and do not feel beautiful.
More than just an external beauty, studies show that people need to pay attention to their hearts, minds, and souls to find long-term, sustainable happiness.
These ten situations or things do have value in your life. However, these if-onlys are all external circumstances and these states can change at any time. The results of the happiness studies: A change in circumstances may have the power to make you feel happier, but only a little bit—not as much as you might think. And it may only last for a little while. 
Happiness can be deep and ongoing. Here are the three main qualities that effect happiness levels:
  • Circumstances, like those above, account for only 10 percent of our happiness because they are often not under our control.
  • Genetics, temperament, constitutional qualities account for about 50 percent of happiness.
  • Internal factors are about 40 percent of happiness levels. It’s in the internal parts of you that you can control. Things like your behaviors, thinking positive thoughts, and the parts of life you choose give your attention or energy to, such as helping others.
Are you are spending most of your time pursuing only those 10 percent items? You may be keeping yourself from looking in the right areas for the things that will actually work.

Learn fun and interesting things that you can do to make yourself happier in the Simple10s article How to Be Happy.

You may also be interested in more articles in the Simple10s category Mind and Spirit.

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